Dance with the Devil
by HellzLittleAngel
Summary: Here I stand - helpless and left for dead.


Dance with the Devil

_Here I stand – helpless and left for dead._

Clean, clear liquid stains the pond. My frame presses up against the bark of a tree, with one foot grounded in the grass and the other foot propped up against the wood behind me. The tree feels truly uncomfortable and small spikes on it dig through the thin t-shirt and stab my skin. I can't seem to will myself to get off, though, so I just ignore the pain. At least, I can forget my physical pain easily.

The wind hisses through the trees and rain droplets find themselves tangled up in my red hair. Thunder cackles, following with lightening striking the sky in an almost painful manner. Funny how the weather can almost reflect what a soul is feeling. It's getting darker – dark enough for the body of water to turn a sick shade of gray. It's beyond me for the time, though the numbers are the last thing on my mind. Here, in this small area, time seems to fade off and so does the world. When it's sunny and bright, this place almost seems to be like a dreamland. Though now, during the storm, it still seems like a dreamland. A hellish type, but still comfortable. Maybe that's why he loved this place so much. He'd come here every weekend and drag me along. He said the clock tower didn't have a cent on this place.

I agree with him.

_Close your eyes, so many days gone by. Easy to find what's wrong. Harder to find what's right. _

It becomes pitch black, and it takes me a moment to realize I've closed my eyes. With my vision gone, I can hear the cars a few miles back, honking in anger, and the thunder growling in the background. I can feel rain dripping through my shirt and sliding down my chest. I shiver, but I don't move. How many days has it been? At least three. It feels like it's been three years. Time is going so slow, antagonizing me to the point of suicidal thoughts. Roxas would frown at the thoughts. He'd give me a good slap on the wrist and snarl at me to stop thinking the way I am right now. A soft smile plays at my lips. I've always wondered why he cared so much about me. I did ask him once, but he never gave a direct answer. He laughed it off, saying that he would be stupid to _not _care for me. Even today I still wonder why he would care so much. He acted almost like my mom, but in a way where I can't say it's nagging.

A nauseous wave of dizziness strikes me. I find myself slouching over, one hand cupping my mouth and my other arm wrapped around my stomach. Squeezing my eyes shut even tighter, I cough violently into my hand. If it weren't for my closed eyes, I'm positive the eyeballs would've popped right out and rolled away. A raw, burning feeling takes its place in my throat, and it almost feels like the way it'd be with alcohol being shoved through my mouth. Thankfully, the coughing ceases , but leaves me with a weak head. The burns fade off, leaving me with an exhausted feeling leering over my shoulders. His voice rings in my head. _Axel-fucking-Hender, you better sit your ass down. _I laugh a little to myself and slide down until I can feel my butt hit the cold, damp earth.

_I believe in you – I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies. _

The blond imprinted in my head seemed so perfect. The way he talked, the way he walked, the way he breathed... but his flaws were nothing short of devastating. Finding out his problems was a struggle alone. I think the whole town knows his secrets now, and they whisper to one another, wondering how a short little boy could cause so much damage. One of his problems consisted of his poker face. No one could tell what he was thinking unless he decided to show it. Even Luxord, the king of poker himself, had trouble reading Roxas. It seemed like he had bragging rights for a whole month, and even more bragging rights for a year since he beat the King of Poker at his own game. Roxas never happy about it, though. He simply shrugged it off.

His second problem was one I found out far too late. He cared for everyone. He cared for everything living thing, though he wasn't a treehugger or an animal-lover. He only cared for his friends and family... but I never caught him once taking care of himself first. Even when he began to complain.

Small but rare complaints began to surface. I don't know why he tried to hide it, and even then I could sort of see through his statements, but I think it was easier to go along with what he was saying. I didn't want to think anything was going wrong. I should've been worried when he dropped his pizza a year ago in the mall, and he began cradling his head. When I tried to ask what was wrong, he shook his head more slowly than ever and smiled a genuine smile, saying he caught a little headache. I believed him like a fool, but I saw a look in his eyes I couldn't quite distinguish. Now I know what was buried in those beautiful blue eyes. _Pain. _

That night was the first time I ever felt happy. I held his hand while I walked him home, and to my surprise, he squeezed mine, smiling faintly in the darkness.

_I won't stay long in this world so wrong._

I didn't have skills like Roxas. Sure, I could lie through my teeth, but I never had that full poker face. There was always a tell with me. There still is, though most folks still have no idea what it is. I think Roxas might've told my mom my tell. I'd get him for doing that. Unlike me, Roxas was a master of disguise. His tell could never be cracked. At least, I never cracked it, and with my other friends, we never found out. It was the other way with the blond. He knew exactly when and who was lying, though he never seemed to care if someone like Demyx was lying about stealing munny from him. Yet with me, there was this look in his eyes that told me he was tuning in and paying attention. Maybe I gave out my tell too easily – the way I always seemed to look away with uncertainty if I tried to lie to him, because telling the truth to my best friend was far worse. I didn't want to hurt him, and I certainly didn't want him to know what was wrong with me.

Needless to say, he found out about my diet. Boy, did he look upset.

"Damn it, Axel, why are you doing this?" He had hissed. His eyes searched mine, and I could spot distress lingering on his face, "Don't you know _anything_ about anorexia?"

"Yeah, I do," I had argued back, but I couldn't seem to sharpen my tongue with him.

"So... why?"

"I don't know."

_Say goodbye as we dance with the devil tonight. Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight..._

_Trembling, crawling across my skin. Feeling your cold, dead eyes, stealing the life of mine. _

_I believe in you. I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies._

Matters fell downhill from there. Of course, Roxas and I remained close friends, and maybe even lingering on the line of lovers, but we never really did anything to specify that we were together. Sure, I enjoyed the feeling his hand in mine, and he had a thing for crawling into my lap if I was sitting down, but neither of us kissed or anything. Okay, that might be sort of a lie. One little kiss, though now I wish it had lasted longer.

His headaches, though, became a huge problem. During the most random times, out of the blue, he would let out a startled cry and hold his head. He said the sunlight harmed his eyes, so we'd spend day after day in each others house's. If I tried to bring up the subject, he'd just shrug it off. I could see the lack of enthusiasm every day, but I was too scared to ask if he was alright. Sometimes he knew if I was troubled by it, and he'd coax me, telling me he was okay, and nothing was wrong with him.

I listened and soaked up his lies.

_I won't last long in this world so wrong._

We made a promise, a deal. He agreed, and I agreed. Deal was, I'd stop with this horrid diet and begin eating a little more each day. Roxas would explain to his mom about the migraines and get help. We both shook on it – spitting in our hands first. That night mom was surprised to see me each a full plate full of spaghetti, even though I felt a little sick from eating more than I have in two days. But I kept my side of the promise and I forced myself to shove one or two more bites of mashed potatoes into my mouth, or another strip of bacon. Sure, it's not the healthiest foods, but after a month or so, it did prove to be helping. I actually had skin on my bones!

Roxas, on the other hand, told his mom about the migraines and he said he was being taken to the doctors every Sunday for a check-up. I could see in his eyes that he was displeased with the idea of going to a hospital, but nonetheless, he thanked me for helping him. It made me feel special, because I was helping my blond friend with his pains, and he was helping me with my appearance to look like a normal human being.

Weeks turned into months, but as timed passed, I slowly began to grasp onto the fact that nothing had changed to Roxas. During midday, at random times, he'd whimper because his head was killing him. I gave him a serious look and asked him if he was really fine, and he nodded. Now that I think about it, he nodded a little too quickly, but I think I was just desperate to grasp onto any fact that he was alright. So I believed him. Every Sunday, he'd be gone the whole day, leaving me to hang out with Demyx or someone else.

On the following day, Roxas looked worse than ever. His eyes were sullen and dull, and his skin had lost a bit of its peachy tone.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked a bit too abruptly. He looked at me, and an emotion flashed in his eyes for half a milisecond, before a smile took its place.

"Nothing's wrong with me. I just didn't get enough sleep last night, that's all." His alluring voice had dragged me into a safe zone, where I felt like all his statements were true. They had to be, right?

Turns out he was lying.

_Say goodbye as we dance with the devil tonight. Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight..._

_Hold on. Hold on._

All of the events are fuzzy, even now they still seem confusing. And to think, it all happened a mere few nights ago. I woke up to my cell phone buzzing sharply in my side. If I still had only bones, I would've felt it on the first second, but I've been sleeping more soundly now. I looked at at the collar ID and found myself shocked to see it was Roxas who was calling me. My eyes had flashed to the digital clock hanging from the ceiling that I had built all by myself... or I at least set up there. Ten to two in the morning. When I answered, my favorite blonde's voice didn't seep through the phone lines. His mother hastily explained how her son was in the emergency room, and he was asking for me. I had to be there, pronto.

Not even dressing out of my red t-shirt and shorts, I shoved each foot into ratty pink slippers my mother left lying around and I rushed out the door. The ride in the car to the hospital was long enough, despite how empty and deserted the streets were, and once I found myself in the waiting room, Roxas's mother embraced. Sobs had racked her whole body, and eventually she let go. "Ho-How could this have happened?" Namine kept mumbling to herself, "Wh-What happened?"

I didn't dare try to calm the woman down, mainly because I couldn't seem to calm myself down. She weakly raised a finger at the pair of doors from from us. They had a disgusting gray color sticking to the wood steel, and the only colors besides gray were the red bubble letters claiming **Emergency Room. **Silently gulping down any sort of sign that would show how weak I felt, I stumbled over to the pair of doors and pushed them open. A cold gust of air greeted my presence, and I fought off a shiver.

"Axel Hender?" One doctor called. My gaze turns to my left, and I spot a tall male with long blond hair and dull green eyes. He looked bored, and maybe even a little irritated. On a nameplate, it reads _Vexen. _Hesitantly, I nodded my head. "Come with me," He mumbled and turned his back to me. Careful to stay close to him, I followed his footsteps until we got father from other doctors busy at work, and the lights illuminated brighter. Bright enough for me to squint.

_Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight. Don't you _dare_ look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight..._

In a hospital bed, familiar blond hair poked out from the white covers.

"Roxas..." I breathed, not even thinking but finding myself moving closer to the bed. Eyelids pull back and sick, blue eyes stared into my green eyes. A soft smile etched itself onto his face.

"A-Axel, you're here..." He sounded weak and tired. I tried my best not to cry, to look somewhat normal, and I kept repeating the words he told me days before. _I'm alright. Don't worry, I'm getting __better. _That voice in my head sounded just as tired as the real Roxas lying in front of me. My voice must have given away the thoughts crowded around in my mind.

"Roxas, wh-what happened?"

_Hold on..._

"I lied... I'm not alright, Axel... I-I can't really explain it..." I could see him searching for the right words. Was he trying not to upset me? "...I-I'm sorry. Tell Mom I love her for me, please?"

"You can tell her that yourself when you get better," My voice cracked somewhere in the middle, but I stared with determined eyes. I wanted to convince him that was he okay, the same way he tricked me. We both knew that was a lie. He wasn't okay. He was sick. I should've known this by the time his third migraine came in two days. I should've done something, but I didn't, because I'm a fucking coward. I couldn't even save the boy that means the world to me... He smiled a little more and held my hand with his fragile one, though if not for his hand squeezing mine, I might not have even felt his hand in the first place.

"Don't think I'll be able to," his smile faltered a little and a serious look overtook his features, "Axel... I really wanted to tell you something that I could never tell you before. I... I love you so much... all the times we spent together were so magical. Even now I wonder why you cared so much about me, but I don't want to know. I just want you to keep going, and know I would do anything in the world for you." Hot liquid began to stream down my cheeks.

"If you w-would do anything, why didn't you get help sooner...!" My voice raised a little, and in the corner of my eye I could see Vexen hesitate on whether to take me away from the boy or let us continue. For my sake, he decided to keep his nose out of where it didn't belong.

"This would've happened sooner or later. Better this happened before we could get more attachted." My best friend answered. A frail teardrop streamed down his face, but he kept a wobbly smile on his face. I think he was trying to ease the pain on me and, maybe, try to let me see him look happy.

_Hold on..._

"No... no, no, no! This wouldn't have happened if you had gotten help! You damn well know it!" Managing to keep my voice down to medium volume, I frowned at Roxas. He ignored my words and tugged my hand, wanting me closer to him. I leaned down, and before I could say or do anything, his head poked up from the covers even more and his lips were on mine. The kiss lasted for two seconds before he pulled away, and despite the lack of color in his face, there was a faint red mark on both cheeks.

"I... love you, Axel."

_Goodbye._

_

* * *

_**A/N: Dedicated to my wife, TearFilled3y3s. Her head's been hurting, and I haven't seen her all week. I got the most strangest sensation four hours ago, and I started crying because I swear I thought she actually died. So... yeah... it's 4:30AM now, I'm tired, and for some reason, I was hell-bent on finishing this tonight. Eh. **

**Reviews are the dreams to my mind. **


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